I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
