Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Panties = found
Randomize
