His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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