i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
