just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
