I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
