I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
