You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
