It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
