"it" just moved
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I need moral support for this bender
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
