My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
false alarm, still single
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
