Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
