Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
