I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
