Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
