Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
