I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
