i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
