K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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