I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize