I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
honey bunches of taint.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
