so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
