how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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