i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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