i don't like sucking hair
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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