It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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