Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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