Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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