THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
