hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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