The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
