Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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