i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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