hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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