I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
