SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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