I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
