i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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