Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
