I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
