My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You can't motorboat a personality
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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