sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
