All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
