My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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