There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She bit a glass in half.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
