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So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's never too late to be topless.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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