If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
