He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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