i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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