so that wasnt chicken after all
only you would photoshop your dick
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
