AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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