Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Someone signed my nipple.
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