My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
