The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
