i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
