She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
