I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
