Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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