I need to stop coming to work sober
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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