I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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