i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
